My husband and I are celebrating 10 years of marriage. Ten of the greatest years of my life. And to honor him, I want to take a moment to reminisce and share about our life together.
Scott and I met at church in November 1999 and began dating in April 2000. I had never dated anyone and had no interest in dating anyone until God brought the right person in my life. When Scott first began attending the church that I attended, I immediately noticed him as a nice, good looking guy but that was all. I wasn’t immediately crush-stricken and really wasn’t interested in childish crushes anyway. Before long, I noticed his love for God and his desire to worship. I was impressed but still not interested. However, over time, I took more and more notice of him and I began to pray about this new person in my life. Could he be the one?
As I prayed, God continuously showed me that he was the one. So, here I was a very shy person who was suddenly interested in this new guy at church and I had no idea if he even noticed me. And I really didn’t know much about him at all. I could tell by looking at him and by the fact that he worked at the college that I was currently attending that he was older than me, though I did not know how much older. He might think of me as a child. Or me might already be in a relationship. Or, he could even be divorced. Lots of questions and I had no answers.
Well, a lady at our church also saw the potential of a relationship between Scott and me and she inquired if I was interested. I was stunned at first and thought that everyone in the church must have already noticed my interest. How embarrassing! But, she really had not noticed anything. She just thought he would be a good pick for me…
Of course, my oldest brother did notice. I had already discussed my interest with my parents but that was all. And I was very shocked and upset when my oldest brother started asking me questions about what was going on between Scott and me. At that point, there was nothing going on but I could not believe that my mom had told him about my secret feelings. Come to find out, she had not said anything. But my brother had noticed the way I would look at Scott and realized that I was interested. I worried then that Scott had also noticed but my brother assured me that he thought he was the only person who had noticed.
So, because the lady at church who questioned me was someone who did a lot at the church and knew all the people well, I decided that I would let her in on my interest and see if she could tell me anything about him. Mom took care of discussing it with her and seeing what she could find out.
Well, the lady did her research and then my Mom reported the news. Mom came home one night with the announcements. She said she had good news and bad news. What could it be? My heart was full of fear. Well, the good news was that Scott was single and the bad news was his age. He was (and is!) 17 years older than me. Not what I expected. I knew he was older but not that much older. Yet, I knew in m y heart that God had clearly directed me to Scott and was not sure that 17 years would be a reason to abandon what I believed God had placed in my heart. So, I immediately asked my parents if that was a problem for them. Mom and Dad assured me that it was not a problem for them but reminded me that it was me that would have to answer the question about whether or not I would be comfortable with that. It would be me in the relationship with him, not them.
I know my parents’ reaction is not the expected reaction. The fact is that my parents had seen other couples with many years between them who were very happily married. And my parents knew about my resistance to date for years and how much time and prayer I had spent asking God to direct me to the right person. And they knew that from everything they had seen in Scott, they couldn’t ask for a nicer person for me to have in my life.
So, there I was, left totally with the decision in my hands about what to do. My choice, as is obvious, was to move forward. I knew that I was certain that God had brought Scott into my life and because of that, I would be a fool to let our age keep us apart. Of course, I didn’t know how he would feel about it.
Meanwhile, I had taken steps to try to get to know Scott a little. At that time, Scott had a weekly radio program where he played music and preached a message on Sunday nights. I began listening to this program when I could (it aired during church time) and when I heard him tell people to visit his website, I immediately wrote down the address and made plans to do just that. On his website, I learned two things. One, he was incredibly smart about God’s Word. Made me feel a little inferior and wonder if he would want to date anyone as dumb as me. Secondly, I learned that each month, he had a drawing to give people a free gift and that particular month, he was giving away a book about the Holy Spirit. It looked like something I would be interested in so I clicked the link to register for the drawing… And then I chickened out and did not register but then decided to go back later and register anyway.
 | A Handbook on Holy Spirit Baptism By Don Basham |
That opened the door. Over the next days and weeks, Scott and I began emailing back and forth constantly. I looked forward to his emails more than anything else and wondered if he felt the same way or if he was just a nice guy who was just being nice to the girl from church and really didn’t have any interest whatsoever. I would read the emails over and over, trying to figure out how he really felt but too scared to get my hopes up. And, all the while, I learned about his family, his job, his interests, and his testimonies. And I hoped continuously that this would eventually lead to more.
Well, it did! The day came that he finally asked me out… By email! He said he would have called but didn’t want to catch me off guard and to be honest, I’m glad he didn’t call because it would have scared me to death. And yes, I am really that shy!!! So he asked me out and that weekend we would go on our first date.
Want to know about our first date? Well, it was perfect. My family had debated whether Scott would come to the front door or the back. My mother insisted that Scott was a gentleman and would come to the front door but my parents’ house is unusual in that the driveway does not pull up beside the front of the house like most driveways do so I figured, gentleman or not, he would use the back. Well, he came to the front. And he brought flowers! And, despite the fact that I had been ready for hours, not wanting to appear too anxious, I remained in my bedroom until after his arrival. So, my parents let him in the house and he sat down in the living room to wait for me. When I walked into the room, Scott stood up and I immediately thought about how I always heard that a gentleman stands when a lady walks in the room. I really like this. And of course, on the entire date, he always opened the door for me. He was a perfect gentleman!
We went out to eat and then went to a local Gospel singing. It was really nice and a lot of the people there came over to speak to Scott because they listened to his weekly radio program. As these people came over, they all carried on about how much they loved Scott and loved to listen to his program. During all these compliments, I watched him and to my amazement, he never seemed a bit proud or lifted up by these compliments. Instead, he seemed to be just filled with humility and a bit embarrassed at all the compliments. And as I sat there watching him, I thought one thing… I’m going to marry him one day. Later, when telling my friends that I was going to marry him, they made comments about me having “fallen in love.” My response was very simply this… I had not fallen in love with him at that point. I didn’t know him well enough and to me, love is not a word that you just casually use. But, I knew that as I would get to know him, I would definitely fall in love with him and I would spend the rest of my life loving him.
And Scott had the same feelings as I did about things like the word “love.” He didn’t believe in saying it unless he knew he meant it. And he didn’t ever feel like it was just his right to hold my hand or kiss me. And he didn’t feel like he had to do these things early on. In fact, Scott and I began dating that Spring and it was not until the end of that summer that he held my hand for the first time, and only after asking my permission. And it was that Fall before he kissed me or told me he loved me. And these were things that I adored about him. I liked that holding my hand, kissing me, and saying he loved me were not things that he just casually did.
So our relationship began and we spent nearly two years dating before he asked me to marry him. In those two years, I did fall in love. I adored him and wanted more and more to spend the rest of my lie with him. He became my best friend. I could talk to him about anything and everything. We prayed together. We studied the Bible together. We even began doing ministry work together. And he made me laugh… To this day, no matter how lousy I feel, Scott can make me laugh and I absolutely love this about him. And yes, we even fought at times. But even during the fights, I knew that God had brought us together and that the worst thing I could do would be to mess this up.
We had dated for nearly two years and I was growing ever anxious for our relationship to move forward. I was tired to being so limited in my time with him. I was tired of dates ending with him dropping me off at my parents’ house and having my week nights limited to only phone conversations with him. I wanted to be with him every day. I wanted him to be the first thing I saw every morning and the last thing I saw every night… But Scott doesn’t rush into things so the question that I constantly wondered was how long he would make me wait.
Christmas came and went and many wondered if he would propose to me that Christmas. I really didn’t expect a Christmas proposal but kind of wondered about New Year’s Eve. Well, there was no New Year’s Eve proposal either. Later, Scott told me that when we went out on New Year’s Eve, at one point, he sat there wondering if he had messed up by not proposing to me that night. So, he was thinking about it but he did not do it then.
My birthday is January 23rd. So, that was the next big occasion approaching. Prior to my birthday was Martin Luther King Jr. holiday and Scott always has that day off work. I asked him if we could spend that day together and oddly, he told me no. I was stunned. Here I was thinking seriously about how much I wanted to marry him and yet, he had a day off work and no interest in spending it with me… later, I would learn that instead, he spent that day cleaning out closet space for my clothes and buying my engagement ring. So, he really wasn’t being mean when he told me we could not spend that day together. I just thought he was!
Well, my birthday came and Scott spent the entire day with me. We started the day at Cracker Barrel. Then he took me ice skating, something I’m not very good at but I do enjoy. And Scott does not ice skate at all. It was very funny! After skating, we went back to his house. There he gave me my gifts. He gave me gift after gift after gift. Then, finally he told me to close my eyes and when I opened them, he was knelt in front of me with a rose in one hand and the ring in the other… And of course, I said yes!
A few months later, on June 1, Scott and I married. We had a church wedding and then stayed at the Biltmore House Inn for our honeymoon. Then, we returned home, Mr. and Mrs. Scott Corbin, ready to begin a home and a family together.
At this time, I had one year left of college and, though we had agreed that I would be a housewife/stay-at-home mom, I wanted to finish that last year of college first… But we also wanted a baby right away. So, we agreed that we would make plans for a baby to come no earlier than the end of May. Well, it all worked well because we ended up expecting our first, Matthew, at the end of July.
Ten years have passed and we have continually been expanding our family… We now have Matthew (about to tun 9), Gabrielle (7), Jeremiah (5), Elijah (3),l and Chloe (currently still waiting on her arrival but she is DUE). We love our children and though, at times, parenting a large family is very challenging, we could not imagine our life without any of them. They are each very precious and special to us.
In ten years, Scott and I have also grown a lot. Marriage has had its ups and downs. We both had to learn a lot and give a lot, but to be honest, I like the person I am now much more than the person I was ten years ago.
Sometimes I tell Scott that he brings out both the best in me and the worst in me. Bringing out the best in me is obviously good. But bringing out the worst in me is good, also. It’s when he brings out the worst in me that I’m able to stop and see that I really need to work on that aspect of myself and then I’m able to pray about it and seek God to change that area of my life.
When Scott and I first started dating, I knew that God had brought us together. Now, I know why. Scott and I are not perfect people and our relationship is not perfect but we are perfect for each other. I tell him all the time that I know he could have found someone prettier, smarter, more money, etc. But, to find someone who is the other half of you, someone who understands you, someone who has the same desires and loves, someone who is on the same page as you in spiritual matters (which are the most important)… Those are the things that matter and the things that make Scott and I perfect together.
I love my husband more and more every day. He still knows how to make me laugh, even when I’m mad. He still is the person I want to talk to hour after hour and share every moment of my life with. He still treats me like I’m beautiful (though I know I’m not). He still sweeps me off my feet (though I have advised him many times in the past few months not to dare try to pick me up or he will hurt us both!!!) and still makes my heart skip a beat!
I love him very much and am so grateful for the 12 years I have known him and the 10 years we have been married. I don’t deserve him but for some reason, God blessed me with him anyway. It’s been a wonderful life together and I know there is so much more to come. I’m very grateful for the 10 years of marriage that we have been blessed with and am looking forward to the next 10, 20, 30, etc years!