We found out several weeks ago that we are expecting again! We are pleased, blessed, and excited, and yes, for inquiring minds, even though this will be our fifth child, we had planned for this and prayed about it, while discussing it much and talking to our other children about it (yes, they are excited too!). Today, Jeremiah, our four-year-old who always draws me pictures, gave me one he drew of me, him, and “the baby”.
The Lord has already blessed us financially with being able to trade in some of our old baby stuff and get a great discount on new things. Also, October is the month when we can sign up for a medical-expense account at my work, and we needed to do this if we were going to have a baby, so God answered prayer and we found out in time for me to sign up (we needed this benefit because my insurance won’t pay anything toward a home-birth midwife…more about that in a minute).
While sharing the news, I felt strongly about saying a few things that I have learned over the past nine years or so. I don’t by any means think of myself as a know-it-all on these subjects; I’m just giving my opinion. But I think it’s important that experiences and opinions like this be shared by the few who hold them, because the loud voices of the majority out there don’t agree with the things I’m about to share.
First, this is personal, but I share it in hopes of helping others, especially Christians who would be concerned about this if they knew enough to be concerned: Nikkie has not taken birth control pills since we were first married. She quit taking them when we wanted to have our first child. She never started back after he was born, because we realized that taking something that alters normal body functions is not good. Also, birth control pills can cause early abortions without the mother even knowing it. Surely there are SOME Christian women out there who would cease taking these pills if they knew this. And certainly the doctor who prescribes them is not going to tell you that.
You may say, “well that explains why you have so many children.” No, that’s not true. There are ways besides drugs where a couple can plan their family. Also, for the Christian, whatever happened to doing what seems to be the right thing, but if a child is conceived unexpectedly, thanking God for it and knowing that He has the power to “open and close the womb” according to His will? It’s been over two years since out last child was born, and Nikkie got pregnant the first month that we agreed would be a good time…not before.
The second point I want to make is that we have used the services of midwives with all of our children so far, and plan to do so again this time (unless we are having twins, and thanks to the good old laws of the land, they decide what’s best for you and tell you that you can’t legally have twins at home…no, we are not expecting it to be twins, but you think about these things when you are doing something “unconventional” by the world’s standards).
When Nikkie first mentioned a midwife and a possible water birth with out first child (though we have never done a water birth), I was skeptical and not in agreement. I wanted the best medical care available (even though I don’t go to the doctor myself unless I feel like I have to). I had seen one prior experience in my life where someone I knew used a midwife and I was not impressed. But I found that I was dead wrong to draw any conclusions based on that.
So Nikkie convinced me to be open enough to at least go and visit the two midwives that were part our local hospital system. They also worked with a group of doctors, so I was willing to go. To make a long story short, I went and found no reason whatsoever not to use their services.
We also enrolled in a Bradley class. This helped us tremendously. I learned a great deal, including the fact that God made women to have babies naturally (unless something unexpected and unnatural happens). I still don’t like the fact that meditation is encouraged in the Bradley classes, but that can be easily ignored. I also learned how ridiculous it is that people treat pregnancies like medical emergencies (don’t get me wrong, it something goes wrong, I’m thankful for whatever doctors can do…but I’ve seen case after case where I think the doctors CAUSED the problems to begin with!).
We used the same midwives for our second child. Both times, they and a nurse or two attended the births…no doctors to interfere with a natural process. Then with our third child, we learned that these two midwives could no longer guarantee us that one of them would be available for the birth. In other words, we might go through seven months or so of seeing them, and then have one of the doctors there for the birth after all. So we started considering other options, such as a birthing center or a home-birth midwife. Again, to make a long story short, we settled on the latter, after meeting Linda Weaver and Amy Bixby at Labors of Love in Spartanburg. The thought of having the baby at home seemed a little strange to me at first, but now, we wouldn’t want it any other way! The births of our third and fourth children went great…no complications, no IVs, no hospitals, etc. To God be the Glory, and credit to Nikkie and the midwives for knowing what they were doing!
So it will cost what is, to us, a significant amount out-of-pocket to use their services again, which my insurance will not pay one dime toward. That’s why I mentioned the blessing earlier of being able to set up a medical spending account for 2012. It’s like getting the money as early in the year as I need it, interest-free, but I can take a year to pay for it. Why do all that instead of just going the conventional route? I hope I’ve already said enough to answer that, but in case I have not: I get so tired of seeing people totally put themselves in the hands of the medical world for a natural occurrence like a birth, because so many times, they end up getting induced, getting an epidural (which prevents them from laboring and giving birth like they would without it), and then that can even (and often does) lead to a C-section. Then they tell you all subsequent children have to be delivered that way, and then you are limited on the number of children you can have, etc. So the moral is (if you haven’t gotten too angry and are still reading this!), do a little research for yourself. PRAY about it. Christians, especially, should treat this like they do when choosing a church. But let’s be honest, few choose a church for the right reasons either.
I could go on and tell stories about things that happened with our first two births in the hospital that were undesirable, even though we wanted no medical intervention (they have the idea at hospitals that they are going to do what THEY want, not what YOU say). I could tell you things about the laws of this land that are ridiculous, as they dictate what parents-to-be can and can’t do. And then I could say some things about immunizations but I think I’ve generated enough irritations already! But that’s not been my purpose (to irritate anyone). My purpose is to tell people, think for yourself! Trust the Lord! And I realize that God forbid, we could need the services of a physician with this pregnancy. And if we do, I will be eternally grateful for any way that they can help. But I’m not expecting that. I’m trusting God and I know all can go naturally and well.
If Nikkie hadn’t had her head on straight on these issues to start with, we’d have gone down the same road as most everyone else. So I’m so thankful that she knew better before I did. She puts our children’s needs right where they should be, not just after they are born, but from the time she knows she is pregnant…actually even before that…when we are planning and wanting to have another child, she begins to take the appropriate vitamins.
And some will say, why are you having so many children? Well, of course, because I want the world to be blessed with more people like me in it! Seriously, that is for each couple to decide. Our children are a blessing, not a burden. It’s hard work. It’s harder to discipline appropriately, for example, and take the criticism and mean looks, than to sit idly by and let them run wild. But raising them right, other than living together for Christ ourselves, is the greatest privilege we have. And God did say to be fruitful and multiply. Have you noticed that the Muslims do that and that’s how they are attempting to take over the world…while we Americans sit back and say we are too busy, etc., to have any more children? And the Muslims are not the only ones of course. As for us, we are going to fill up our church if we have to do it ourselves! 😊 And we are going to teach them the Cross and have them in a good church, by the Grace of God, every time the doors open. We have done it with first four and will with His help continue with this one. Each one has been either in the first or second service after they were born (for example, we had Matthew on a Wednesday so we thought taking him to church that night was a little hasty…but he was there the following Sunday!). And people say you’ve got to keep them home for eight weeks…but they had them in the hospital and tote them to the doctor’s office regularly during those weeks. Oh I forgot…there are no germs in those places though (ha ha ha).
Just think about it all if you are expecting now or when you have your next baby. And God bless you, and we appreciate your prayers for this pregnancy!